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A Message From Kathy.

The news is exactly what you’ve been waiting to hear.  “You’re pregnant!!!”

It’s time to consider when to call everyone you know with the good news; your best friend, your folks, your boss, who did you possibly forget?  You have to start making a list of names, go online and check maternity wear, start figuring your due-date, begin picking out baby names, you don’t want to forget a thing.

Whoa, slow down; what about child care?

“Child care? I’m only eight weeks pregnant!”

Welcome to the real world of finding a caregiver. You can’t start planning too soon.  Ask yourself this: “Can I afford to never go back to work?”  If I can, then I can relax and not deal with this problem; but if I can’t, I’ll probably have to return once my baby is eight weeks old.  “Eight weeks old? How can I possibly leave my child with someone at only eight weeks old?”

It’s a harsh reality that thousands of mothers (and fathers) everywhere are having to face. Not only is it important to choose the caregiver that’s going to be responsible for your baby’s well being, but whether or not your chosen one is even available at the time you’re ready to separate. You might even become outwardly emotional or inwardly apprehensive, there just aren’t sufficient adjectives to describe the range of emotions you might experience when having to hand over your precious baby to a stranger. However, the transition might not be as problematic as I painted it here, because depending on your temperament and the reassuring manner of your caregiver, the very first time might not cause you or your baby any stress at all.

Take a deep breath and realize that there are resources available to you in finding the perfect fit for you and your child. As varied as the caregiver philosophies and the physical structures they’re in might be, so are the modalities of care.  For a complete list of program options I copied from the New York State Office of Children & Family Services, click here: WWW.OCFS.STATE.NY.US Be aware that this is only for NYS; for all other states visit the WWW.NACCRRA.ORG and enter your zip code. Please note that both sites are bilingual.

Bottom line; go with your intuition. How much transition time will it take before you and your baby are totally comfortable at the facility? Should you build up slowly every day until you’re both at ease with spending a full day apart?  Do you choose to stay off to the side in the same area to observe your baby or would you prefer an observation room?  How long each day will you spend with your baby at the center until you reach your comfort level?  How many days before you’re able to drop off your baby and go straight to work?  All these questions can get answers when you work out a plan well in advance with your chosen caregiver.

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Learn All About Your Potential Caregiver's Philosophy and Qualifications

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★ CHILD CARE Tips

Sinking Your Teeth Into The Biting Issue.

Let me set the scene: You’re at a friend’s house. All of the children are happily engaged in play at the other end of the room. Suddenly, you hear your two-year-old daughter scream. She comes running to you crying while pointing to a mark on her arm. You look at the arm and see that your child has been bitten.

The first thing you need to know is biting is a very common behavior among toddlers. The most typical reason is that it is one of the few effective ways for them to communicate before development of their verbal skills. But not all children bite. Some choose other forms of communication when dealing with their anger or frustration. These include grabbing and shoving. Because these actions rarely leave a mark, we are often unaware that there was an altercation. It’s the bite mark that draws the attention and criticism.

Toddlers’ limited language skills cause them to bite when expressing their frustration. They don’t have the words to say, “I had it first” or “You’re in my space.  Many realize that if someone takes their toy, biting them gets it back. They’re not biting because they’re “mean” children, it’s just a cause & effect solution to a problem that they have developed. Toddlers may also bite because they’re teething, hungry, or just because at this stage, they’re still orally fixated and tend to put everything in their mouths. Giving your child words such as “it’s mine” or “walk away” can help them express themselves better. For the teething, make sure you offer something to bite, like teething toys or a cold washcloth.

Your reaction to the biting is important. If your child was the one who bit, firmly tell her that “We don’t bite; biting hurts”. Keep it short and sweet. When you start lecturing with “What you did really hurt Nicole and now she’s crying”, it becomes a jumble of too many words and your child may lose the real message.

What I found that truly helps, is having the child that did the biting, help care for the child that was bitten. I always ask the permission of the bitten child because they might be afraid that it will happen again. Seeing the other child cry and being able to help soothe them makes little biters sympathetic.

Recommended Books:

Teeth Are Not For Biting

by Elizabeth Verdick

(Free Spirit, 8.99)

No Biting

by Karen Katz

(Penguin, 8.99)

Little Dinos Don't Bite

by Michael Dahl

(Picture Window Books, 7.14)